Playing with your child can influence how he or she plays with others.

Games between caregivers and children teach children important social skills.

How parents and their children play together According to a recent University of Georgia study, this may form the basis of how children treat other children.

Understanding how to approach new social situations is key for toddlers, and research shows that caregivers play a big role in providing children with a scenario from which to learn.

Niyanthri Raveendran

A new study has found that the way mothers and babies interacted during play predicted how children would later interact with other children.

“It’s not just what the mom does when they communicate, and it’s not just what the baby does when they communicate,” said Niyanthri Ravindran, lead author of the study and an assistant professor in UGA’s College of Family and Consumer Sciences. . “It’s really about how their behavior comes together. This ongoing dialogue between mother and child contributes to the way children interact with their peers.”

Teachers help children practice in future social situations

The study is based on data collected at the University of Illinois. Researchers brought more than 120 mothers and their toddlers into the lab’s playroom to observe how they interacted during play.

Researchers observed children in preschool age, studying how they interacted with their friends while playing.

After six months, the researchers paired the children with children they had never met and observed how the pairs interacted. Later, when the children were about 4.5 years old, the researchers brought the participating children to play with a close friend.

Researchers have focused on two main types of behavior: responsiveness and assertiveness.

Having a balance between these two behaviors can help raise more socially competent children.” — Niyanthri Ravindran, College of Family and Consumer Sciences

Children who were receptive to their playmate’s suggestions and were enthusiastic about playing with them scored high on responsiveness.

While many may think that assertive behavior is the same as aggressive behavior, in this study, assertiveness meant children taking initiative, such as inviting another child to play or coming up with ideas for games.

Mother and child had a strong bond if the mother was sensitive to the child’s behavior and the child responded positively. When they demonstrated these dynamics during play, these children were more likely to exhibit the same responsiveness with their friends.

Likewise, when mothers were sensitive and children were assertive during play, those children were more likely to be assertive with children they did not know.

Assertiveness is a necessary skill when meeting new peers.

Meeting someone new can be nerve-wracking for many children. They need the confidence to take initiative and speak up respectfully. However, with a friend, they know what to expect, so the answer seems more natural.

Interacting with someone new requires different skills than interacting with a friend.

“You don’t want a child to be completely compliant and never take the initiative,” Ravindran said. “You also don’t want a child who is bossy and never listens to other children’s suggestions. Having a balance between these two behaviors can help raise more socially competent children.”

Play helps develop social skills

Caregivers play a big role in children’s development of social skills, and not just because they are their main role models. The way children and parents interact serves as practice for new social situations.

In most cases, the responsibility lies with the parents. They decide what rules their children follow and what their children can or cannot do.

During the game this hierarchy is destroyed. Children are free to tell their parents what they want and how they want to play.

“You will guide your child, teach him and show him how to do things, but it is equally important to follow his lead sometimes,” Ravindran said. “It can really help balance out those behaviors.”

The study was published in the journal Developmental Psychology and co-authored by Nancy L. McElwain of the Department of Human Development and Family Studies at the University of Illinois.